4 Weeks Left!

Yup that's right, I only have 4 weeks left!!! O_o This time has gone by much faster than I anticipated it would. Right now on one hand I'm glad it's gone by fast, but on the other hand I wish I had time to enjoy it more. Though I will admit most of it hasn't been too enjoyable. Right now I want little Luna to wait until at least the 11th so that Carlos will make it home. I don't want her to come too late though. I am ready for her to get outta there! I'm ready to be able to breathe, sleep, and move normally again. *sigh* I know the sleeping will not go back to complete normalcy, but surely it'll be more than 2hrs of sleep/day.
So Christmas is coming up, and I just can't seem to get that through my head. With all the construction (should be finished in one more day thank goodness), and baby stuff going on Christmas is the last thing on my mind. My thought process on it is, ok Happy Birthday Jesus You rock let's move on. lol We have no decorations up, maybe like 2 presents bought, and no true Christmas spirit in this house right now. We'll have a week to gain all that. Let's see how that goes haha!
Back to baby stuff: I had my 36 wk apt today and found out that I'm 2-3 cm dilated & 50% effaced. So hopefully that means she won't be a wk or more late! :-) She knows when she's ready to come out though.
<3

Cat Naps & Construction

So I feel like all I can get sleep wise right now are cat naps. I've been actually going to bed earlier (for me thats around 12-1am), but I sleep for 3 hrs and wake up. Right now I've been up for 3-4 hrs, and I'm finally starting to get sleepy again. It wouldn't bother me so much, not sleeping at night, if there weren't construction in the house right now. Hopefully after today they will be finished putting in the floors, and then I can sleep peacefully again! I swear it feels like the home make-over has been going on forever! It started with what used to be a "junk/computer/office/studio" room that is now Luna's room. Then we moved on to the kitchen where our old cabinets were ripped off the walls & replaced with new handmade wood cabinets. The old ones were compressed wood, and they were about to fall in. Now the floors are being redone. The carpet was ripped up from Luna's room, the hallway, and the living room. That quick step laminate wood flooring is whats being put down. It looks awesome! Most days I've been able to get a little sleep with all the banging, but today the guys started playing the radio. Let's just say that country music does not help me sleep at all. lol I popped in my headphones with my iPod and rocked out to Trans-Siberian Orchestra while I slept wonderfully. Luna really enjoys listening to TSO :-) (and Lady GaGa!!) I think that it's just the heavy beats in the music, but still it makes me happy that she calms down and seems to enjoy the same stuff I do. Of course give her a couple years and all she will want to hear will be The Laurie Berkner Band and others like that. Though I don't hate on Laurie Berkner. It was the one "kid band" that my little cousin loved to listen to while I kept her that I actually liked. Anyway I'm going to try to get a few more hrs of sleep before the guys come banging around the house. Here are some pictures of the progress so far (I don't have any good pictures of the nursery before):

Kitchen Before

Nursery after

Kitchen after

Floor so far

Get Outta My Ribs!

That's what I say to my little Luna nearly everyday now at least once. Amazingly, after some pushing from mommy, she usually moves out of them. Today is the first time that someone has actually noticed that I'm pregnant & said something to me about it. :-) That made me very happy. I haven't gained hardly any weight. I wasn't trying to not gain, but I haven't been going crazy eating every little thing I see either. I actually worry about not eating enough sometimes. In the 1st trimester I lost 5lbs, gained that back in the 2nd, and as of my last Dr appointment I have only gained 10lbs total. Nearly 5 of that is just Luna.

Today Carlos found out that he will be able to come home in Jan. for the birth. Though they are only giving him 10 days of maternity leave. Thank goodness he has almost 20 days built up so he can stay longer. We had been worrying that he wouldn't be able to come home b/c his unit is going to training for a month. Since his knees are messed up (thank you basic training, and Dr's that don't want to correctly diagnose) he can't go to the training. It's possible that he may not even be able to deploy w/ his unit when they go. We'll see how that one plays out though. If he doesn't deploy then I'll be moving a lot sooner than I had been planning on. :-/

I'm happy to say that finally my sick feeling nearly every time I ate has gone away. *knock on wood* I've been having some serious round ligament pain though, and that's driving me crazy! It's worse when I'm laying down on my left side. I can deal with it most of the time besides then.

I got a Doula!!! I'm helping her get 1 out of the 3 live births she has to attend to get her certification. :-D I'm meeting her on Friday. I have to get my days and nights switched by then lol. I'm naturally a night owl, and being pregnant has not helped that end at all. I can't wait to meet her though. I've talked to her on the phone & we've FB'd back & forth some. She is super sweet!

I can't wait until Jan so that I can meet Luna <3 It's going to be an awesome time indeed. Maybe she'll come on Jan 1 & be the 1st baby born in the County. HAHAHA That would rock though b/c you get all kinds of cool stuff, but I would prefer her to wait until @ least Jan 7 b/c that's exactly 1 week before her due date.
-Melissa

10 More Weeks... WHAT O_o

I know that I haven't updated this as often as I was meaning to but...... here goes a new one :-)
I ended up moving back in with my mom after a fainting spell in the post office. People were asking me who they could call to come pick me up, and all I could say was no one. Carlos was in training during that time, and as far as I knew couldn't answer his phone. After nearly 2 weeks of crying myself to sleep from depression that I could feel myself slipping farther and farther into, Carlos called my mom and talked to her. I had been talking to her also, and we all made the decision for her to come get me and ride back with me. I've have been put on Zoloft to help with the depression. Yes this is safe to take while pregnant. Of course nothing can be done for the hot flashes that are causing my faint spells. I was told that they will continue while I am breastfeeding. :-(
I started my childbirth classes a few weeks ago. They are very different from what I was expecting. Since I am going to the ones they have at the hospital I expected it to be all about breathing to ignore the pain and taking pain meds no matter what. I was completely floored when they were talking about natural childbirth, and that the nurses there are all for it. I was also amazed to find out that they will let you labor and birth in any position you like so long as there aren't complications. They have this bar that they can put on the bed so that you can get up in a squatting position. It's really cool. They also, well I don't want to say push b/c they tell you that it's ok if you don't, but tell us that it's best to breastfeed. I am so glad that they are such advocates for breastfeeding and even natural childbirth. They just explain that complications can happen, and that you should always keep your options open. I feel so blessed to live near a hospital with a great labor and delivery section! They even offer water births. THOUGH in the past 7 years there has only been ONE water birth. I've been told that it will depend on the Dr. that ends up being with me during the birth as to whether or not I will have that option open to me.

On an unrelated note. I ask for everyones prayers, please, for my family. We had a sudden death Monday night. My cousin, my moms nephew, was found dead by his sister. He lived behind my mom and me. He was only 35, and has 2 daughters ages 13 and 10. The initial autopsy is showing that it was heart failure. He was a great dad, musician, and person. He will be greatly missed. RIP Mark Hayes <3

Off Subject

I'm going to veer off subject just a little because I need to vent some stuff out of my brain. Though I know it won't help my thought process any, it will make me feel a tad better. If you would prefer to only read about pregnancy stuff then skip to the bottom. :-D

I have just moved to TX to be w/ my hubby. I thought that it was the best thing for me to do, but now I'm having huge 2nd thoughts. I've been here for a week, and I know that isn't long, but I just can't get used to being so far from my family. I thought this was what I wanted, but now I'm not so sure. I know that 1/2 of this is just being pregnant, and all those extra hormones, but I also know that part of it is how I really feel. I don't think, now, that it was the best thing for me to do. Uprooting myself 1/2 way through my pregnancy, and switching up everything that I was used to. I do believe that if I weren't pregnant I would be dealing with this 100x's better. Also, when Carlos deploys I'll be moving back home, and letting this house we have here go so that we can save more money. That will be less than a year from now, and his unit has no clue if they will be gone for just 6 months or for a year. I also found out last night that in Jan, when I'm due, he has training in a completely different state for a month. He may not be here when I go into labor. That upsets me so very much. I came here so that we could experience that together with no chance of him not making it to the birth. Now that has changed. My mom is coming here for the birth, but it isn't a given 100% chance that even she will be here right when I go into labor. I really don't want to deal with that myself. It's also hard coming into a community where everyone has been here for quite sometime, and pretty much stay to themselves. I have yet to meet anyone, though I will admit I haven't put myself out there any. Really I've just felt too depressed after getting here to want to do or go anywhere without Carlos. It's really hard for me to type this also. I don't want people to feel like I'm the big ol crybaby wife that no one wants to deal with, but I just can't help it. I've cried quite a lot since I got here, and it's just getting worse everyday. Carlos says he doesn't mind if I go back to NC, because he just wants me to be happy. I hate to do that though for more than one reason. I don't feel like packing all this crap up & driving back. Also, I don't think that it's fair to him for me to take away going through this pregnancy with me, but he also can't handle me being as upset as I've been.

Ok enough of that. On the subject of pregnancy: this little girl is kicking me like crazy everyday! She kicks down more than anything, and every time it makes me feel like I'm about to pee my pants. The name we've decided on is Luna Mackenzie. She is starting to keep me up at night when I'm trying to sleep, or waking me up very early in the mornings. Everyday her kicks get harder and more frequent. If she isn't a soccer player, or a runner, or something of that nature I will be surprised! Well it's relaxing bath time for me. Carlos is working weird hours for the next couple weeks so I'm on a his schedule, and alone all evening.

IT'S A....

GIRL! :-) I had my US yesterday. There were supposed to be 3 people going w/ me, but it slowly trickled down to just my mom. Which was great after we got to that room b/c it was SO small. It was amazing getting to see this booger finally, but she wouldn't stay very still. In fact she moved so much I have to go back in for another US, b/c they couldn't get a picture of her heart. *sigh* She's going to be a mover... and a runner... and probably a screamer. Oh well, it's what Im' prepared for since Carlos & I both were hyper active kids. Of course now we both like to sit around on the computer, but childhood... different story! Her HB was around 154 I believe. I was in awe so I don't remember exactly. Hopefully Carlos will get to go w/ me to the next US sound though since it's on the 30th & if he is coming home to help me move he should be back by then. I'll have 2 appts that day. My first is w/ my Dr, just a check up @ 10. The other is the US @ 2. It's going to be a busy busy day then. Let's just say I'm not drinking any caffeine this time, and I'm going to try to remember to not drink any the day before.

Everyone keeps asking me now what we're naming her. What names have we come up with. I mean we have one picked out that will (90% sure) end up being what we call her, but that doesn't mean I want to share it with the world right now. I still have almost 5 months to go, and the name could change at any given moment. We're also going to have a boy name picked out just in case. I've heard though that if they tell you it's a girl, then it's a girl. It's only when they tell you it's a boy that it can change.

Ok so now on to how I told Carlos. I decided that it was best for him and me to find out together, even though he couldn't be there. I had the nurse write down what it was on a note card, fold it in 1/2, and seal it in an envelope. The nurse also sealed the pictures of in between her legs. 2 hours later I finally got to open it on Skype w/ Carlos. Mind you my mom knew the entire time. She was the only one that did, besides the nurse. After I untapped the envelope I closed my eyes, pulled out the note card, opened it, and asked Carlos, "What does it say?" "It's a girl," was the answer he gave me. :-) I had to laugh in his face just a little bit since I was victorious in the "what sex is the baby game." Hey he started it!!

Long Awaited

So I haven't posted in a bit, but life has been hectic lately. Trying to get everything packed and ready for my big move to TX.
I've just started being able to feel how big my uterus is getting, and I have baby brain hella bad! I haven't really gained any weight except gaining back the 5 lbs I had lost. *knock on wood* I'm not sure if I've felt the baby yet, I think I have, but it's hard to tell. I'm strangely still comfortable laying on my tummy, which I've read is safe so long as it is comfortable. I've finally been able to eat fish again *YAY!* My birthday was this past Sunday, and I get the best present ever on Monday Aug 16. That's the day of my US, and I find out what I'm having!!!!! I've decided to take a note card & envelope with me so that they can write down what I'm having, show it to the people that I take, seal it in the envelope, and I'll open it on Skype w/ my hubby that night. I'm going to let him tell me what we're having. :-) That way he can feel like he is a part of it in some way. I'm so excited about that day I could burst. I'm almost as excited about getting a nice relaxing haircut 2 days later, but it's just b/c it is much needed! *they haircut & the relaxing* I'm not looking forward to the 18-20 hr drive, I'm staying the night somewhere not doing it straight, but I'm happy to finally be able to live with Carlos. We've been married for a little over 2 yrs and have only spend 3 mths of that living together to where we slept in the bed at night with each other every night. We spent weekends together some, and lived together with a weird schedule where he would be with me during the day, but not at night for a few months. Other than that we've been separated completely. We do so much better when we are together than apart. We're not good apart lol. We fight more. Though lately some of that can be attributed to my crazy hormones. They were crazy anyways, now they are just out there. Well goodnight blog. <3

:-D

Well I had an awesome two weeks with my hubby. He has now moved on to TX. I have decided to go on down there in Sept. I have made it 14 wks!!! I'm so happy. My mom took me shopping today & bought me some maternity clothes. I have to pay her back later, but still I was excited. This isn't going to be much of an update, b/c honestly not much has went on. I haven't really had too many changes except that I'm getting migraines a lot more & feeling nauseous again. I bought some pregnancy pops, so hopefully those will help some. I also am starting to get baby brain really bad. I can't type or txt well w/out misspelling everything! Well time for bed for me! <3

Pain in the back....

The only thing that has been going on with me lately is intense back pain. I'm hoping it will go away for a few months at least. This Friday, as in 1 day away now, will mark my 12 week mark!!!! It's so exciting for anyone to get through the 1st trimester, but for me especially. I was so worried about losing the baby, but once I hit that mark I won't have to worry about that as much. Plus, I finally get to stop taking progesterone. My 2nd Dr. appointment is Friday morning. It is with a different Dr. *pout*, but all my other appointments after that, minus the ultrasound, are with the Dr. I love! Oh according to my husband our baby is going to be super smart, because it is stealing all my intelligence. I was texting him one day and misspelling everything! It's like my fingers don't remember where the keys are on my keyboard lol. It is about the time for him to be heading out to TX while I stay my butt here in NC. He gets to come home for at least a little bit on Friday though. Thank goodness I'll get to see him before he flies out. I'm hoping that being pregnant will make the 5-6 months that we are apart go by a lot faster. I mean we are used to being apart, but close enough that I can drive down and bring him home or stay one night. I can't do that once he gets to TX. That's a 20 hour drive compared to the 3 hour drive we have right now. Crazy! I'm having to talk him into getting a webcam & Skype so that we can at least video chat some. He's going to get our house and everything in order before I ever get there. How nice :-) Well as much in order as he can without in furniture. We are going to wait until I go in February to move everything. That way we don't have to move twice, and I'll have plenty of time to save up the $$$$ that it will cost, because we are going to get people to do it for us.
It's driving me mad not knowing what I'm having yet though. I want to start buying clothes and just stuff so badly, but I don't want unisex stuff. I want to have gender appropriate things. Momma and Carlos both think that it's a boy, and they always say he this or he that. I always tell them to just hush because they don't know that. I feel like it's a girl, but I could be wrong. We'll find out in 7 weeks. :-D

A Psi of Relief?

I gave in and bought some Psi Bands from Earth Fare last night. My nauseousness has gotten to where I'll try anything for it to just go away. When I tried them on last night (they are almost too small) I didn't think they were working. I tried some ginger chews instead which made me gag more. They are super gross! Today before I left for my mamaw's I thought hmmm I'll just try these again, it can't hurt. Well I was able to eat & not feel too nauseous. Then they started to hurt just a little so I figured I would take them off. Boy was that a mistake! As soon as they came off I felt like I was going to be sick everywhere. I put them right back on and felt better in a few minutes. Now if you are wondering what Psi Bands are then here is a small description. They are wrist bands that use acupressure on your wrists to help ease off nauseousness. It depends on the person as to how much it will help. Unisom helps me at night, but it knocks me out so I can't take it during the day, and I haven't gotten around to getting any B6 yet to try. That's next on my list though. These definitely help. I mean it doesn't knock it out totally, but enough that I can get through my day a little better. I swear my nauseousness has gotten worse and worse for the past almost week now. :-/ At least that means my hormones are going up like they should. *sigh*

Heart Beat

So I've been pretty busy this week so I am just now getting a chance to post about my 1st Dr. visit, although I should be in bed. I was so sure I had an UTI, but when they checked me for it they said I didn't. It would've explained a lot, but the Dr. said that what was going on was totally normal. :-D Carlos got to come home for the appointment, thank goodness, after a lot of fighting and fussing with his Srgt. It was so amazing to get to hear the heart beat (173.88 bpm) & to see the little peanut that is inside me right now. *sigh* Carlos nearly started crying & I was speechless, just a happy smiling fool. Not a whole lot has been going on. I'm feeling a little more moody, & my tummy has gotten hard in the past week which is starting to make it uncomfortable to lay on my stomach for longer than 20min or so at a time. I have a feeling that soon I won't be able to lay on it at all. Which will kind of suck since I'm so used to sleeping on it. I saw my Aunt the other day. She is the only person in my family that doesn't approve of my husband. At least she is the only one that has told me so much. My husband is black & she thinks I'm going to hell for marrying him; yes she told me this about a week before we got married. Her, my mom, my gma & her hubby all went to eat for my gma's bday the other day & though my Aunt paid for my food, I might add she isn't my moms sister but my dads, she never said congrats or gave me a hug or anything when we were all talking about me being pregnant. I know I shouldn't care, but it just really hurts my feelings. She was always there for me my whole life. She helped take care of me & raise me when I was younger. I never in a million years would've thought she would end up being the one person to act like this, but I guess I'm seeing her true colors now that I'm older. Just goes to show you that you don't always know someone like you think you do even if they are family.

Oh Well

Well today I puked for the 1st time. :-(  I hate throwing up SO much. Everything I ate all day just went down my toilet. Poor thing, it was a lot of food. Glad I realized that I felt sick before hand though, b/c I was outside in my car on the phone. That's the first time in my life I've ever made it to the bathroom to puke. That's about all I have to say about today. :-/

Blugh

That about sums up how I feel right now. :-( I'm not sure if it was something that I ate earlier or if I need to eat a little something, but my tummy is driving me mad at the moment. Lots of burps & rolling & feeling oh so sick. I wish sometimes, as much as I hate it, that I would just puke. I think that it would make me feel better. *sigh* I haven't really been having huge cravings, yet, but I have had some aversions to food. I can't eat salads anymore, or much of the healthy food I had started eating for that matter. It makes me sad b/c I love salads SO much, but if I try to eat one as my meal I can only make it through a few bites before I feel nauseous. I've started wanting whole milk instead of 2% or skim. I usually HATE whole milk, and my mom says she really hopes that I don't continue to want it after I have the baby. So do I mom, so do I. I will be 8 weeks tomorrow. YAY! My 1st Dr. appointment is in 4 days. :-) I hope everything's going along like it's supposed to. Carlos is supposed to be getting to come home this Fri-Wed so that he will be able to join me at my appt, since it's the only one he will probably get to go to. He finds out tomorrow if his pass was approved or not. *fingers crossed* So far I can still lay on my tummy to sleep or at least mostly on my tummy. I haven't gained any weight, but I can tell something has gotten bigger down in there. lol :-D I'm not showing, just look like I've gained weight. At least that's what I feel like anyways. I feel like a big ol fat cow! hahaha It sucks being a plus size girl that's pregnant b/c I feel like I have to tell everyone that I'm preggo since they can't, and probably won't, be able to just look and tell. I hope I get a cute baby belly though b/c I want to get pictures made. <3 That's all for now. I'm going to go & try to not feel so sickish.

Decisions

I am trying to figure out if I want to stay here in NC for the pregnancy so that the baby can be born here & family will get to see it that otherwise wouldn't, OR do I want to move to TX when Carlos does @ the end of June & have the baby there. I really don't want to go through the riga-ma-row of trying to find a Dr & hospital that will conform to my needs/wants of a birthing plan. I also happen to have a Dr that believes in Progesterone & a lot of them don't. I strongly believe that I would've lost the baby had I not gotten on the pills when I did, so I want a Dr that will continue to prescribe me those for as long as I need them. I really am torn b/t my birthing plan/family, and being with Carlos. It's mainly some stuff that has just surfaced in the past week that is making me want to go with him. I am not going to mention anything on here, or anywhere, because he isn't ready for people to know yet though. I am extremely worried, and I wish I could talk about it, just to get it out of my system. I know I don't need to stress over it, but it's hard. It could be nothing, a fluke, or something random, but it could be something horrible also. I'm praying for a fluke. Trying to stay positive. It's the best I can do. That, and act like it's all ok when I'm around/talking to him, but I'm crying until I puke when he isn't near. :-/ It's in God's hands, that's all I can say about it, but sometimes I wish I had a cure for everything.

It's Back

So the past 2 days my nauseousness has come back 100 fold. :-/ I can be starving, but when I think of food I want to puke. When I eat it takes me about 1 hour to eat a veggie burger just so that I don't throw it back up. One thing that helps is not drinking while I'm eating. I've been trying to wait @ least 30 min before I drink anything. My mom is getting me some watermelon tomorrow, because I've read that it helps knock out the nauseous feeling a lot. I've also noticed my emotions are more out of whack than they were. It's like everything is a Hallmark Commercial or something & I want to cry my eyes out. *sigh* Last night I was having hot flashes/cold chills. That was horrid. I think it might have had a little something to do w/ me being sun burned also though. Today I got really light headed after I had to wrestle my dog away from the door when I had visitors. I also got a headache. Carlos googled it for me to see if it was normal (I was scared to walk b/c when I got up I felt like I was going to pass out). He said it was & that I just needed to drink some juice & lay down for a bit. So I got some OJ, laid down, and felt better after about 1 hour. That's about all that has been going on prego wise.

On another note if you guys that read this could pray for my Aunt. She had a stroke & is in the Hospital. We've gone to see her everyday & it seems like she is getting worse everyday. :-( She went from being able to eat a little to now not being to eat at all. Thanks a ton! <3

Mmmmm Fish

So I had a friend tell me on FB that I shouldn't be eating fish b/c I'm prego. Well to tell you the truth I've always thought this also, but a few months ago I was doing some researching and found out that you can! It's even GOOD for you to. :-) You just have to watch what kinds of fish and the amounts that you eat. You can have 12oz of LOW mercury fish per week. So today I had just that. Well I don't think it was the full 12oz, lol, but I did have some fish. Sushi yummy! The sushi I get is cooked. I'm still a little weary of trying the raw fish. Though I've read that Japanese women eat sushi during their whole pregnancy, raw & cooked, and their babies come out fine. O_o Anywho.... Here is the website where I found out what fish was ok & what wasn't. What kinds of fish you can have 12oz/wk and what kinds are just 9oz/wk and others that are 4.5oz/wk (technically the last two are /mth I just divided dwn into wks). It also tells you what fish to absolutely avoid! <3

Well I'm still feeling that weird bloated feeling. Not to mention my back/legs have been having shots of pain/uncomfortableness whenever I'm sitting up. I mean gah I used to think my back bothered me, but now... man o man. I've pulled my lower back about 3-4 times since last September & the last time was the worst. It happened about 1.5-2mths ago. I'm not sure if I was actually pregnant when it happened or not, but it was right around that time. It knocked me out in the floor to where I couldn't move. Then after a few days it went away. Then I got sick... like flu type sick w/ a high (for me) fever of 100.5. My normal temp is 97.6 or lower. Of course now that I'm prego its usually 98.6ish which just means I feel hotter and more sweaty everyday. *yuck* Anyways the Dr. on base gave me vicodin. I took 2 then, 1 later that day & totaled out to about 8 that I took. I know that some of those were after I was definitely prego. I took 1 a night or 2 before I found out. :-/ I just hope that it was early enough that it didn't harm the baby any. Of course I worry way too much about stuff like that. I know/heard of people that didn't find out until 3-4mths in & were drinking and partying & their kids are fine. So all I can do is just wait & see. I'm so anxious for my Dr Appt. O_O Well time to try & sleep.... *yeah right* Another thing that's happened to me lately, I'm sleepy allll day but then I can't sleep at night until late. Never when I want to around 11. Oh well.

Bloated w/ a side of ugh

So I don't have too much to say about the past few days. Not too much has been going on pregnancy wise. Life wise my mom & I went to Asheville for a day trip & I finally got me some pimento cheese from Earth Fare (an amazing organic grocery store). Today though I can tell that my progesterone is starting to really really kick in. At least in the "slows your digestion" area. I feel so bloated & my stomach is so hard right now. I know that's something that I need to get used to since, once the baby is bigger it will be like that all the time, but I never imagined I would feel like this at 6 wks! This is the 2nd time I've felt like this, but the last time it wasn't for as long. It'll be gone by the morning I'm sure, but it makes it hard for me to eat all day. It makes me feel full even when I'm hungry. I guess because my tummy is all stretched out feeling. So i just stand in the kitchen thinking hmmm do I really feel hungry, do I really want something. *sigh* I don't want to start gaining weight yet so I'm trying my best to eat as healthy as possible. Though that's hard for me when I'm craving stuff that isn't good for me. :-( I haven't given into those cravings but once, so far, so hopefully it'll be all good. One of the reasons I don't want to gain weight yet is because I'm in a wedding in June that I'm already probably going to have to have my dress altered for. The other is because I'm already a bigger girl & I know that I'm not supposed to gain much weight. Smaller girls gain more weight than bigger girls. At least that's all I keep reading... I guess we'll see. Well I believe that's all for now. Headed to bed for some rest. <3

Hmmm

Nothing really new today. Finally got to get me some Pad Thai :-D Made me nauseous a little afterwards though, probably shouldn't have gotten it as hot as I did. lol My mom & I are going to Asheville this weekend & I'm SO excited b/c I'll finally be able to get some pimento cheese from Earth Fare! It's the main thing that I've been craving besides Sushi & when I was in GA this past weekend I looked for some @ their Earth Fare, but sadly they were out. Hopefully since there are 2 Earth Fare's in Asheville we'll be able to get some. It's all organic & made right in the store. I've never liked pimento cheese before, but man that stuff is awesome. Probably also has to do w/ being pregnant. I hope so anyways b/c if I still like it after baby comes then I'm SOL since I'm moving to TX & there aren't any Earth Fare's there!! haha One thing did happen today that hurt my feelings a little. My g'ma, who I try to just ignore sometimes b/c she's old though still going strong & just has silly opinions, said that if my boobs get any bigger (I'm overflowing my DD cups but I don't fit in a DDD anymore) then I'm going to be walking like a hunchback. Well gee thanks g'ma I'm only 6 weeks (tomorrow YAY!) & haven't gained any weight yet & my boobs have always been this big. (No really ever since I was in 8th grade they were D's...) So Idk if she was trying to make a joke or what, but it wasn't nice in my opinion. She does that a lot too, makes jokes on other peoples expense. BUT we won't go into that here... that would have to be a whole other blog completely no joke. She also told me I didn't need to be reading my book b/c it's about vampire stuff & that will put some mark on the baby. Ummm riiiiiiiiight. I do not believe in that kind of stuff. That's g'parents for ya though. *sigh* Well that pretty much sums up my day I guess. Been having some back pains. :-( Hope it's not anything bad. I had slight back problems before I got pregnant though so hopefully it's just related to that.

Symptoms. What Symptoms?

So my main symptoms I was having have pretty much gone away. No more nausea, cramps are almost obsolete, and my boobs are barely hurting anymore, but I still have the mood swings, fatigue, & insomnia. Needless to say it worries me that they are dying down, even though I've been told not to worry about it. It's hard not to though. Ugh me and my worrying. Anyways I'm still somewhat craving things. I really want some sushi again. :-) haha I think my baby is going to come out Asian, b/c that's all I'm craving! Thai, Sushi, Japanese, Chinese...... O_o lol I'm still taking my progesterone. I had to get it refilled. I'm not sure if I put this in my last post b/c my memory is horrible w/out being pregnant, but my levels were low. Well lower than my Dr wants. They were at 9.2. I'm not sure what # she wants them at, just that she thinks that's low. I was scared to death when they called and told me that though! Later after doing some online research I read that ideally at 5 wks your levels should be b/t 9-12. So I don't think they were too horribly low. I also read that the progesterone suppository, like I'm taking, is the best and most effective way to get the progesterone to the baby. :-D My Dr rocks! haha
Today I also found out that we are getting stationed in TX @ Ft Hood instead of Korea/OCNUS (outside continental US) like had been planned. They (the Army) told Carlos when he lost Korea that we would still be going overseas since he had done all the briefings and had gotten his shots, but no now we're headed to TX. I'm happy to be CONUS (continental US) for certain reasons, but it would've been nice to get the chance to go overseas. I've decided to still stay here in NC though to have the baby. I love my Dr. here, and she knows my history. Plus the hospital here is great when it comes to pregnancy's, and they offer water births which I'm pretty set on having. So I really don't want to have to move and go through that search of trying to find a Dr. that I like, and a place that I'm ok with. Plus I refuse to have a baby via MTF (military treatment facility, their hospital basically) b/c I've read such horror stories about how they just don't give a crap about you the entire time. I've witnessed births at our hospital, and that's what made me want to have a baby there. It's so relaxed and they are very intent on letting you do it your way, so long as it's ok for the baby & the mom. I don't think I'm in the wrong for feeling that way... am I? For wanting to stay here until I have the baby? I know that they will let Carlos come home when the due date hits, no problem. The only thing I worry about is if we will have enough $$ to live this way, me w/ my mom & him in on base housing. I guess we'll see.

Wait Game

Oh how I hate the wait game. Right now it's waiting on that phone call back from the Dr's to make sure my progesterone levels are normal. After that it will be waiting until June 8, my 1st Dr. appointment. Then waiting to find out where my husband will be stationed. Then waiting to see if he gets HTRAP (home town recruiting army program) for a couple weeks. Then waiting for more Dr appointments. Waiting for the baby to come. Waiting to make sure everything's ok. Wait, wait, wait! I'm so impatient lol. I need to stop worrying about baby also, but it's so hard. I worry that I'm eating & drinking the right things for baby. That I'm not getting to hot, or doing anything to strenuous. Every time I go to the bathroom to pee I worry I'm going to see blood. *sigh* I worry that the Army is going to try & say that if I don't fly to wherever Carlos goes to now then I won't be able to go. I refuse to fly. I'm at a high risk for miscarriage as it is, I'm not adding to it the increased risk of a plane. (I might be repeating myself with that, if so just ignore me). Well I had a great time in GA, mostly. My video from telling Carlos is in my last post if you missed it. The only sucky thing was that the amazing news of being pregnant was followed by the horrible event of my hubby getting jumped & robbed by 3 guys on base. All because of what battalion/company he is in. His battle buddy was a coward & ran off & just left him there. >_< It was very disturbing for him I'm sure since I was disturbed just hearing it. He is a-ok though. All except a small sore inside his nose & the missing $260. He called the MP's (military police) immediately & talked to them for 2 hrs. This happens all the time to people & I really don't think they are doing anything about it. They haven't taken steps to prevent it, like patrolling the DFEC's (the cafeterias) @ midnight chow, patrolling barton field where most stuff happens, or putting up cameras anywhere, so I don't think they care too much.
Anyways enough on my rant about that. Carlos & I looked at baby stuff this weekend, since that's going to be one of the only times we will be able to do that together. We found some stuff that we both liked. I love the cribs that convert to day beds & full size beds so you don't have to buy a new bedroom suit when the baby gets older. :-) Most of the bedding was the same at Buy Buy Baby & Babies 'r Us. Cute stuff though. We liked the strollers at Buy Buy Baby much better. They have the ones that I like, Bumbleride. I think I put that in my earlier post though. Hmmm I'm starting to repeat myself. Maybe that's a sign that I need to get off here, eat & wait by the phone some more. <3

Hello Daddy

Today I told Carlos! I have an awesome video of him finding out, but I'm having complications getting it from my phone to the computer. :-( Whenever I get everything worked out I'll link it @ the bottom of this post. I took an idea from my friend Amber & made Carlos a present. Only difference was it was her hubbys birthday anyways, with Carlos it was just random lol. He had no idea!! He dumped out the stuff on the hotel bed and just stared at it. Then I think it finally hit him because he picked up the positive tests I had in there and was just like, "Oh my gah are you pregnant!? Are you serious? Really!?" It was priceless and I wouldn't have had it any other way. <3 I definitely recommend surprising your man if you get the chance. It's amazing! I almost started crying. Well we went to Buy Buy Baby to look at stuff just for fun, and picked out which cribs & strollers & whatnot we liked the most. We agreed on most stuff. The funny thing was the stroller he picked out that he liked is the brand that I've always wanted on in, Bumbleride. After pushing my little cousin around in a short (I'm not tall and it was too short for me!) stroller in Boston one year I said I wanted a nice big tall stroller. The ones I like convert from the baby stroller to toddler stroller all the way up to age 5. Worth the $$$ in my eyes. Also the cribs we liked convert from crib to toddler bed to twin bed. So that's pretty convenient, especially with us moving around with the Army. I'm so much more excited now that I can talk to Carlos about everything! I planned on breaking it to FB tonight, but since my video is having issues I guess I won't. :'-( I thought it would be a great way to tell people! Well time for bed for me, after a nice relaxing time in the whirlpool tub. No hot water for me though!

VIDEO! (finally)

I'm an itchy worry wort...

Today was so good. I ate sushi, 12 oz of low mercury fish a week is a-ok to eat, plus the sushi I ate was cooked fish. I was happy because for the first time in a couple weeks I didn't feel sick after eating. I read that if you eat what you're craving then you're less likely to feel sick. I went to hang out with one of my besties for a bit of time, and saw my g'ma. Ok let's back up a little now. In the middle of visiting my friend, Traci, I ran to Gastonia to get a book for Carlos (completely forgot to take a picture of it too ugh!) to put in his bag of goodies I got him. It's called "So You're Going To Be A Dad" awwww! That's not the point though. The point is I went to Mickey D's to get something to drink on my way home, shame on me and my sweet tea addiction, and these ladies were in there talking about how they miscarried or had a stillbirth. I kid you not I cried all the way back to Kings Mountain. :'-( I'm worrying way too much about it, but I can't help it. Having PCOS puts me at a 45% greater chance of miscarriage than the normal 10-25%. So that's a 55-70% chance for me. It's scary to be SO happy about being pregnant, but to have that over my head.
On another note... I am itching EVERYWHERE. :-/ My scalp and back mostly though. I feel like I just laid in the tanning bed for the first time this year. If you don't lay in tanning beds then you have no idea what I'm talking about, but I'll just say it's a dry annoying itch and lotion doesn't help much. It's almost like I'm allergic to the shampoo I've been using. I probably need to switch to Organic. Well I'm finally getting to tell Carlos tomorrow. YAY!!!! <3 Here are pictures of what I have in his bag, minus the book. Also today officially marks my 5 weeks :-D

Yuck

Tomorrow will be the 5 week mark. I'm definitely still pregnant today though. :-) Went to eat with my G'ma, and I couldn't eat the steak and gravy that I had just because it was so gross. lol We told my G'ma & Dad last night. My dad was a jerk about it saying that I only got pregnant so that I could get to Korea with Carlos faster. I have no clue why he thinks that because I NEVER said that to him. Only thing I jokingly said was that I wouldn't have to get my immunizations if I were pregnant, to which he replied, "well that's a stupid reason to get pregnant." I was already trying to get pregnant though. Sadly you can't argue and tell my dad anything. :-/ I refuse to fly being pregnant because I'm too scared of a miscarriage, and Carlos knows that already. I can't wait to tell him and to see his face! <3 I also can't wait to release all this on FB. It's driving me crazy to not post something about it or to just call all my friends! I find myself already talking to my tummy, or well to the "cute sesame seed sized blob with a heartbeat" as I like to call it right now. Oh so this is titled yuck because last night was the closest I've come to throwing up so far. I had acid & lettuce come up in my throat some. It was not pleasant. I feel so overwhelmingly tired all day, but when it comes to sleeping at night I cannot get comfy. I slept maybe 5 hours last night. My back will be hurting so bad, and there's nothing that I can do about it. On another note I found some False Unicorn Root in Shelby. It can help prevent miscarriage and help ease the nausea. Some things say that you shouldn't take it if you're pregnant though. So I'm not sure if I want to take it or not. I need to talk to Carlos and my mom about it. I also cannot wait to tell him mom! My mom was ecstatic, and I know his mom will jump around and yell 100x's more.  Well I think that this is all I have to say for now. :-D

<---Size of a Sesame Seed on my finger tip = size of the baby right now!! (amazing)

Progesterone

Ok well it's the same day as my last post, but I went to the Dr to get blood work done and just to talk to them. The did a urine test which came out darker than mine even though they test for the same levels of hCG so hopefully that's a good sign. They are testing my progesterone since I have PCOS my body has problems making it so I just HOPE that they are normal. If they are low I have a higher chance of a miscarriage. I also made my 1st appointment for June 8 to talk to the Dr and whatever else they do then. I know that my Dr will help me to do this as naturally as I possibly can with the PCOS, and that is VERY important to me. I'm just so worried I feel like I'm starting my period because I keep cramping me, and that scares me a lot.

BFP with PCOS

Today I took a pregnancy test. One of a million I've taken in the past 2 years, more so the past few months though. Today was the first time I got even a faint positive. According to the instructions on that came with my test I need to wait 48 hours to take another one since it was a faint line. (Test's are great and cheap, got them here: http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/ I have the dip sticks). These test check for the lowest HcG, 10, so it's possible that I've barely caught it & could still start my period and lose it. I also have PCOS which means it's highly likely I could lose the baby in the first trimester. :'-( I started crying when I saw the second line not only from pure happiness, but also from shock, and fear. I'm so scared that I will start my period and lose the baby. We have been trying so hard and praying even harder I just don't know what will happen if I lose it. (Besides being highly depressed). In one way it sucks because Carlos is about to be heading overseas to our new Duty Station and he won't be able to spend this time with me while I'm actually pregnant. It also sucks because if I were to lose it (can you tell that's all I can think about...) we won't be able to try again until whenever I am able to join him overseas, probably the end of the year. He doesn't know yet. I won't see him until this weekend, and he asked me to not tell him unless it was in person. :-/ I can't stand not talking to him about it, but at least I have my mommy. That's one of the reasons I'm glad that I got that BFP and that I hope its not a false positive etc... I was really upset that I might get pregnant overseas, and my family wouldn't be there or get to see/be with the baby at all. At least this way they can be there when I have it, and see it afterwards and whatnot. I'm also worried because I was taking vicodin for pain in my back, not every day just when it was bothering me, and I've had 9 total since my last period (5 weeks ago). I've also had lots and lots of sushi, I've been craving it, and other fish. I'm worried that my mercury levels are too high, or that I've done something wrong and.... Oh lets just face it I'm crazy worried! I called the Dr. to get a blood test, but they haven't called back yet. That was 1.5 hrs ago... I'm tempted to just go down there. Idk what to do. I've read that you need to immediately go to the Dr. if you have PCOS, so I wish they would at least just call back. I'll update this more whenever I find out what's going on and if I am or not. I'm kind of stealing this idea from some friends of mine who just had a BEAUTIFUL baby girl! <3 http://markanderinsbabyblog.blogspot.com/

<--- @ 5 weeks