Decisions

I am trying to figure out if I want to stay here in NC for the pregnancy so that the baby can be born here & family will get to see it that otherwise wouldn't, OR do I want to move to TX when Carlos does @ the end of June & have the baby there. I really don't want to go through the riga-ma-row of trying to find a Dr & hospital that will conform to my needs/wants of a birthing plan. I also happen to have a Dr that believes in Progesterone & a lot of them don't. I strongly believe that I would've lost the baby had I not gotten on the pills when I did, so I want a Dr that will continue to prescribe me those for as long as I need them. I really am torn b/t my birthing plan/family, and being with Carlos. It's mainly some stuff that has just surfaced in the past week that is making me want to go with him. I am not going to mention anything on here, or anywhere, because he isn't ready for people to know yet though. I am extremely worried, and I wish I could talk about it, just to get it out of my system. I know I don't need to stress over it, but it's hard. It could be nothing, a fluke, or something random, but it could be something horrible also. I'm praying for a fluke. Trying to stay positive. It's the best I can do. That, and act like it's all ok when I'm around/talking to him, but I'm crying until I puke when he isn't near. :-/ It's in God's hands, that's all I can say about it, but sometimes I wish I had a cure for everything.

It's Back

So the past 2 days my nauseousness has come back 100 fold. :-/ I can be starving, but when I think of food I want to puke. When I eat it takes me about 1 hour to eat a veggie burger just so that I don't throw it back up. One thing that helps is not drinking while I'm eating. I've been trying to wait @ least 30 min before I drink anything. My mom is getting me some watermelon tomorrow, because I've read that it helps knock out the nauseous feeling a lot. I've also noticed my emotions are more out of whack than they were. It's like everything is a Hallmark Commercial or something & I want to cry my eyes out. *sigh* Last night I was having hot flashes/cold chills. That was horrid. I think it might have had a little something to do w/ me being sun burned also though. Today I got really light headed after I had to wrestle my dog away from the door when I had visitors. I also got a headache. Carlos googled it for me to see if it was normal (I was scared to walk b/c when I got up I felt like I was going to pass out). He said it was & that I just needed to drink some juice & lay down for a bit. So I got some OJ, laid down, and felt better after about 1 hour. That's about all that has been going on prego wise.

On another note if you guys that read this could pray for my Aunt. She had a stroke & is in the Hospital. We've gone to see her everyday & it seems like she is getting worse everyday. :-( She went from being able to eat a little to now not being to eat at all. Thanks a ton! <3

Mmmmm Fish

So I had a friend tell me on FB that I shouldn't be eating fish b/c I'm prego. Well to tell you the truth I've always thought this also, but a few months ago I was doing some researching and found out that you can! It's even GOOD for you to. :-) You just have to watch what kinds of fish and the amounts that you eat. You can have 12oz of LOW mercury fish per week. So today I had just that. Well I don't think it was the full 12oz, lol, but I did have some fish. Sushi yummy! The sushi I get is cooked. I'm still a little weary of trying the raw fish. Though I've read that Japanese women eat sushi during their whole pregnancy, raw & cooked, and their babies come out fine. O_o Anywho.... Here is the website where I found out what fish was ok & what wasn't. What kinds of fish you can have 12oz/wk and what kinds are just 9oz/wk and others that are 4.5oz/wk (technically the last two are /mth I just divided dwn into wks). It also tells you what fish to absolutely avoid! <3

Well I'm still feeling that weird bloated feeling. Not to mention my back/legs have been having shots of pain/uncomfortableness whenever I'm sitting up. I mean gah I used to think my back bothered me, but now... man o man. I've pulled my lower back about 3-4 times since last September & the last time was the worst. It happened about 1.5-2mths ago. I'm not sure if I was actually pregnant when it happened or not, but it was right around that time. It knocked me out in the floor to where I couldn't move. Then after a few days it went away. Then I got sick... like flu type sick w/ a high (for me) fever of 100.5. My normal temp is 97.6 or lower. Of course now that I'm prego its usually 98.6ish which just means I feel hotter and more sweaty everyday. *yuck* Anyways the Dr. on base gave me vicodin. I took 2 then, 1 later that day & totaled out to about 8 that I took. I know that some of those were after I was definitely prego. I took 1 a night or 2 before I found out. :-/ I just hope that it was early enough that it didn't harm the baby any. Of course I worry way too much about stuff like that. I know/heard of people that didn't find out until 3-4mths in & were drinking and partying & their kids are fine. So all I can do is just wait & see. I'm so anxious for my Dr Appt. O_O Well time to try & sleep.... *yeah right* Another thing that's happened to me lately, I'm sleepy allll day but then I can't sleep at night until late. Never when I want to around 11. Oh well.

Bloated w/ a side of ugh

So I don't have too much to say about the past few days. Not too much has been going on pregnancy wise. Life wise my mom & I went to Asheville for a day trip & I finally got me some pimento cheese from Earth Fare (an amazing organic grocery store). Today though I can tell that my progesterone is starting to really really kick in. At least in the "slows your digestion" area. I feel so bloated & my stomach is so hard right now. I know that's something that I need to get used to since, once the baby is bigger it will be like that all the time, but I never imagined I would feel like this at 6 wks! This is the 2nd time I've felt like this, but the last time it wasn't for as long. It'll be gone by the morning I'm sure, but it makes it hard for me to eat all day. It makes me feel full even when I'm hungry. I guess because my tummy is all stretched out feeling. So i just stand in the kitchen thinking hmmm do I really feel hungry, do I really want something. *sigh* I don't want to start gaining weight yet so I'm trying my best to eat as healthy as possible. Though that's hard for me when I'm craving stuff that isn't good for me. :-( I haven't given into those cravings but once, so far, so hopefully it'll be all good. One of the reasons I don't want to gain weight yet is because I'm in a wedding in June that I'm already probably going to have to have my dress altered for. The other is because I'm already a bigger girl & I know that I'm not supposed to gain much weight. Smaller girls gain more weight than bigger girls. At least that's all I keep reading... I guess we'll see. Well I believe that's all for now. Headed to bed for some rest. <3

Hmmm

Nothing really new today. Finally got to get me some Pad Thai :-D Made me nauseous a little afterwards though, probably shouldn't have gotten it as hot as I did. lol My mom & I are going to Asheville this weekend & I'm SO excited b/c I'll finally be able to get some pimento cheese from Earth Fare! It's the main thing that I've been craving besides Sushi & when I was in GA this past weekend I looked for some @ their Earth Fare, but sadly they were out. Hopefully since there are 2 Earth Fare's in Asheville we'll be able to get some. It's all organic & made right in the store. I've never liked pimento cheese before, but man that stuff is awesome. Probably also has to do w/ being pregnant. I hope so anyways b/c if I still like it after baby comes then I'm SOL since I'm moving to TX & there aren't any Earth Fare's there!! haha One thing did happen today that hurt my feelings a little. My g'ma, who I try to just ignore sometimes b/c she's old though still going strong & just has silly opinions, said that if my boobs get any bigger (I'm overflowing my DD cups but I don't fit in a DDD anymore) then I'm going to be walking like a hunchback. Well gee thanks g'ma I'm only 6 weeks (tomorrow YAY!) & haven't gained any weight yet & my boobs have always been this big. (No really ever since I was in 8th grade they were D's...) So Idk if she was trying to make a joke or what, but it wasn't nice in my opinion. She does that a lot too, makes jokes on other peoples expense. BUT we won't go into that here... that would have to be a whole other blog completely no joke. She also told me I didn't need to be reading my book b/c it's about vampire stuff & that will put some mark on the baby. Ummm riiiiiiiiight. I do not believe in that kind of stuff. That's g'parents for ya though. *sigh* Well that pretty much sums up my day I guess. Been having some back pains. :-( Hope it's not anything bad. I had slight back problems before I got pregnant though so hopefully it's just related to that.

Symptoms. What Symptoms?

So my main symptoms I was having have pretty much gone away. No more nausea, cramps are almost obsolete, and my boobs are barely hurting anymore, but I still have the mood swings, fatigue, & insomnia. Needless to say it worries me that they are dying down, even though I've been told not to worry about it. It's hard not to though. Ugh me and my worrying. Anyways I'm still somewhat craving things. I really want some sushi again. :-) haha I think my baby is going to come out Asian, b/c that's all I'm craving! Thai, Sushi, Japanese, Chinese...... O_o lol I'm still taking my progesterone. I had to get it refilled. I'm not sure if I put this in my last post b/c my memory is horrible w/out being pregnant, but my levels were low. Well lower than my Dr wants. They were at 9.2. I'm not sure what # she wants them at, just that she thinks that's low. I was scared to death when they called and told me that though! Later after doing some online research I read that ideally at 5 wks your levels should be b/t 9-12. So I don't think they were too horribly low. I also read that the progesterone suppository, like I'm taking, is the best and most effective way to get the progesterone to the baby. :-D My Dr rocks! haha
Today I also found out that we are getting stationed in TX @ Ft Hood instead of Korea/OCNUS (outside continental US) like had been planned. They (the Army) told Carlos when he lost Korea that we would still be going overseas since he had done all the briefings and had gotten his shots, but no now we're headed to TX. I'm happy to be CONUS (continental US) for certain reasons, but it would've been nice to get the chance to go overseas. I've decided to still stay here in NC though to have the baby. I love my Dr. here, and she knows my history. Plus the hospital here is great when it comes to pregnancy's, and they offer water births which I'm pretty set on having. So I really don't want to have to move and go through that search of trying to find a Dr. that I like, and a place that I'm ok with. Plus I refuse to have a baby via MTF (military treatment facility, their hospital basically) b/c I've read such horror stories about how they just don't give a crap about you the entire time. I've witnessed births at our hospital, and that's what made me want to have a baby there. It's so relaxed and they are very intent on letting you do it your way, so long as it's ok for the baby & the mom. I don't think I'm in the wrong for feeling that way... am I? For wanting to stay here until I have the baby? I know that they will let Carlos come home when the due date hits, no problem. The only thing I worry about is if we will have enough $$ to live this way, me w/ my mom & him in on base housing. I guess we'll see.

Wait Game

Oh how I hate the wait game. Right now it's waiting on that phone call back from the Dr's to make sure my progesterone levels are normal. After that it will be waiting until June 8, my 1st Dr. appointment. Then waiting to find out where my husband will be stationed. Then waiting to see if he gets HTRAP (home town recruiting army program) for a couple weeks. Then waiting for more Dr appointments. Waiting for the baby to come. Waiting to make sure everything's ok. Wait, wait, wait! I'm so impatient lol. I need to stop worrying about baby also, but it's so hard. I worry that I'm eating & drinking the right things for baby. That I'm not getting to hot, or doing anything to strenuous. Every time I go to the bathroom to pee I worry I'm going to see blood. *sigh* I worry that the Army is going to try & say that if I don't fly to wherever Carlos goes to now then I won't be able to go. I refuse to fly. I'm at a high risk for miscarriage as it is, I'm not adding to it the increased risk of a plane. (I might be repeating myself with that, if so just ignore me). Well I had a great time in GA, mostly. My video from telling Carlos is in my last post if you missed it. The only sucky thing was that the amazing news of being pregnant was followed by the horrible event of my hubby getting jumped & robbed by 3 guys on base. All because of what battalion/company he is in. His battle buddy was a coward & ran off & just left him there. >_< It was very disturbing for him I'm sure since I was disturbed just hearing it. He is a-ok though. All except a small sore inside his nose & the missing $260. He called the MP's (military police) immediately & talked to them for 2 hrs. This happens all the time to people & I really don't think they are doing anything about it. They haven't taken steps to prevent it, like patrolling the DFEC's (the cafeterias) @ midnight chow, patrolling barton field where most stuff happens, or putting up cameras anywhere, so I don't think they care too much.
Anyways enough on my rant about that. Carlos & I looked at baby stuff this weekend, since that's going to be one of the only times we will be able to do that together. We found some stuff that we both liked. I love the cribs that convert to day beds & full size beds so you don't have to buy a new bedroom suit when the baby gets older. :-) Most of the bedding was the same at Buy Buy Baby & Babies 'r Us. Cute stuff though. We liked the strollers at Buy Buy Baby much better. They have the ones that I like, Bumbleride. I think I put that in my earlier post though. Hmmm I'm starting to repeat myself. Maybe that's a sign that I need to get off here, eat & wait by the phone some more. <3

Hello Daddy

Today I told Carlos! I have an awesome video of him finding out, but I'm having complications getting it from my phone to the computer. :-( Whenever I get everything worked out I'll link it @ the bottom of this post. I took an idea from my friend Amber & made Carlos a present. Only difference was it was her hubbys birthday anyways, with Carlos it was just random lol. He had no idea!! He dumped out the stuff on the hotel bed and just stared at it. Then I think it finally hit him because he picked up the positive tests I had in there and was just like, "Oh my gah are you pregnant!? Are you serious? Really!?" It was priceless and I wouldn't have had it any other way. <3 I definitely recommend surprising your man if you get the chance. It's amazing! I almost started crying. Well we went to Buy Buy Baby to look at stuff just for fun, and picked out which cribs & strollers & whatnot we liked the most. We agreed on most stuff. The funny thing was the stroller he picked out that he liked is the brand that I've always wanted on in, Bumbleride. After pushing my little cousin around in a short (I'm not tall and it was too short for me!) stroller in Boston one year I said I wanted a nice big tall stroller. The ones I like convert from the baby stroller to toddler stroller all the way up to age 5. Worth the $$$ in my eyes. Also the cribs we liked convert from crib to toddler bed to twin bed. So that's pretty convenient, especially with us moving around with the Army. I'm so much more excited now that I can talk to Carlos about everything! I planned on breaking it to FB tonight, but since my video is having issues I guess I won't. :'-( I thought it would be a great way to tell people! Well time for bed for me, after a nice relaxing time in the whirlpool tub. No hot water for me though!

VIDEO! (finally)

I'm an itchy worry wort...

Today was so good. I ate sushi, 12 oz of low mercury fish a week is a-ok to eat, plus the sushi I ate was cooked fish. I was happy because for the first time in a couple weeks I didn't feel sick after eating. I read that if you eat what you're craving then you're less likely to feel sick. I went to hang out with one of my besties for a bit of time, and saw my g'ma. Ok let's back up a little now. In the middle of visiting my friend, Traci, I ran to Gastonia to get a book for Carlos (completely forgot to take a picture of it too ugh!) to put in his bag of goodies I got him. It's called "So You're Going To Be A Dad" awwww! That's not the point though. The point is I went to Mickey D's to get something to drink on my way home, shame on me and my sweet tea addiction, and these ladies were in there talking about how they miscarried or had a stillbirth. I kid you not I cried all the way back to Kings Mountain. :'-( I'm worrying way too much about it, but I can't help it. Having PCOS puts me at a 45% greater chance of miscarriage than the normal 10-25%. So that's a 55-70% chance for me. It's scary to be SO happy about being pregnant, but to have that over my head.
On another note... I am itching EVERYWHERE. :-/ My scalp and back mostly though. I feel like I just laid in the tanning bed for the first time this year. If you don't lay in tanning beds then you have no idea what I'm talking about, but I'll just say it's a dry annoying itch and lotion doesn't help much. It's almost like I'm allergic to the shampoo I've been using. I probably need to switch to Organic. Well I'm finally getting to tell Carlos tomorrow. YAY!!!! <3 Here are pictures of what I have in his bag, minus the book. Also today officially marks my 5 weeks :-D

Yuck

Tomorrow will be the 5 week mark. I'm definitely still pregnant today though. :-) Went to eat with my G'ma, and I couldn't eat the steak and gravy that I had just because it was so gross. lol We told my G'ma & Dad last night. My dad was a jerk about it saying that I only got pregnant so that I could get to Korea with Carlos faster. I have no clue why he thinks that because I NEVER said that to him. Only thing I jokingly said was that I wouldn't have to get my immunizations if I were pregnant, to which he replied, "well that's a stupid reason to get pregnant." I was already trying to get pregnant though. Sadly you can't argue and tell my dad anything. :-/ I refuse to fly being pregnant because I'm too scared of a miscarriage, and Carlos knows that already. I can't wait to tell him and to see his face! <3 I also can't wait to release all this on FB. It's driving me crazy to not post something about it or to just call all my friends! I find myself already talking to my tummy, or well to the "cute sesame seed sized blob with a heartbeat" as I like to call it right now. Oh so this is titled yuck because last night was the closest I've come to throwing up so far. I had acid & lettuce come up in my throat some. It was not pleasant. I feel so overwhelmingly tired all day, but when it comes to sleeping at night I cannot get comfy. I slept maybe 5 hours last night. My back will be hurting so bad, and there's nothing that I can do about it. On another note I found some False Unicorn Root in Shelby. It can help prevent miscarriage and help ease the nausea. Some things say that you shouldn't take it if you're pregnant though. So I'm not sure if I want to take it or not. I need to talk to Carlos and my mom about it. I also cannot wait to tell him mom! My mom was ecstatic, and I know his mom will jump around and yell 100x's more.  Well I think that this is all I have to say for now. :-D

<---Size of a Sesame Seed on my finger tip = size of the baby right now!! (amazing)

Progesterone

Ok well it's the same day as my last post, but I went to the Dr to get blood work done and just to talk to them. The did a urine test which came out darker than mine even though they test for the same levels of hCG so hopefully that's a good sign. They are testing my progesterone since I have PCOS my body has problems making it so I just HOPE that they are normal. If they are low I have a higher chance of a miscarriage. I also made my 1st appointment for June 8 to talk to the Dr and whatever else they do then. I know that my Dr will help me to do this as naturally as I possibly can with the PCOS, and that is VERY important to me. I'm just so worried I feel like I'm starting my period because I keep cramping me, and that scares me a lot.

BFP with PCOS

Today I took a pregnancy test. One of a million I've taken in the past 2 years, more so the past few months though. Today was the first time I got even a faint positive. According to the instructions on that came with my test I need to wait 48 hours to take another one since it was a faint line. (Test's are great and cheap, got them here: http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/ I have the dip sticks). These test check for the lowest HcG, 10, so it's possible that I've barely caught it & could still start my period and lose it. I also have PCOS which means it's highly likely I could lose the baby in the first trimester. :'-( I started crying when I saw the second line not only from pure happiness, but also from shock, and fear. I'm so scared that I will start my period and lose the baby. We have been trying so hard and praying even harder I just don't know what will happen if I lose it. (Besides being highly depressed). In one way it sucks because Carlos is about to be heading overseas to our new Duty Station and he won't be able to spend this time with me while I'm actually pregnant. It also sucks because if I were to lose it (can you tell that's all I can think about...) we won't be able to try again until whenever I am able to join him overseas, probably the end of the year. He doesn't know yet. I won't see him until this weekend, and he asked me to not tell him unless it was in person. :-/ I can't stand not talking to him about it, but at least I have my mommy. That's one of the reasons I'm glad that I got that BFP and that I hope its not a false positive etc... I was really upset that I might get pregnant overseas, and my family wouldn't be there or get to see/be with the baby at all. At least this way they can be there when I have it, and see it afterwards and whatnot. I'm also worried because I was taking vicodin for pain in my back, not every day just when it was bothering me, and I've had 9 total since my last period (5 weeks ago). I've also had lots and lots of sushi, I've been craving it, and other fish. I'm worried that my mercury levels are too high, or that I've done something wrong and.... Oh lets just face it I'm crazy worried! I called the Dr. to get a blood test, but they haven't called back yet. That was 1.5 hrs ago... I'm tempted to just go down there. Idk what to do. I've read that you need to immediately go to the Dr. if you have PCOS, so I wish they would at least just call back. I'll update this more whenever I find out what's going on and if I am or not. I'm kind of stealing this idea from some friends of mine who just had a BEAUTIFUL baby girl! <3 http://markanderinsbabyblog.blogspot.com/

<--- @ 5 weeks